Love this. My dad died over a year ago, leaving all his stuff to the whims of a second wife who didn't communicate much with me and my brother. A few months ago, the second wife gave a box of Dad's stuff to her son to give to my brother (long story there, not worth it). (Also, Norwegian death cleaning style...one box). OMG what's in it, I texted my brother (we live 300-some miles apart). Nothing, he texted back, blurry photos and some books you bought dad once and that mix CD you made him one year but the CD is missing. Oy.
"We're reviewing our mortality." THIS PART. Exquisite work, Kelly. Thanks for posting it; it's comforting as I continue to work through the house I grew up in, and have now lived in again, as a middle-aged adult, for more than a decade. We're still trying to decide how to contend with the belongings of both our parents and all four grandparents plus much of the childhood miscellany our Mom kept for each of us. Making even decisions about the disposition of thousands of items in your own home while you live in it means you're constantly also processing the wider context of everything. It can be almost paralyzing while engendering a looming sense of doom on a continual loop.
If it helps, I can pass on the first step for having an estate sale: "Get rid of anything anyone wants first." We all went, took what we wanted, and it was done (and we refused to fight over a single item. The real estate agent said he'd seen meltdowns over an old bedsheet!) We had hard deadlines, tho. I imagine it would be soooo much harder if you stay in the house.
I've been sporadically practicing Norwegian death cleaning for a few years, since I was diagnosed with cancer a decade ago and my neighbor alerted me to it. It's like Swedish death cleaning, but less useful. Basically, it's on you to reduce your meaningful personal heirlooms to a manageable-sized box before you die, so anyone who gets there after your death can say, "I guess this is what I'm supposed to keep forever" and then decide whether or not to chuck it in the dumpster with all the other stuff. (You're also supposed to sort all your non-meaningful shit and get rid of as much as possible so the dumpster is unnecessary.) Recently, a friend of mine said, "Guess who's book I found in the little library on my street?" Is that better or worse than a viking funeral? And is this person really a friend to tell me? Good luck!
The box could double as a bugout bag in case we need to evacuate! Maybe I’ll pioneer Danish death cleaning. Although I’m not sure what that would be? Anyway. No dumpsters required at my house or Dad’s. I had an ex that after I kicked him out it took two dumpsters. TWO.
Whew, this one hits, especially since I'll be heading to MI in a few weeks and will need to go through some of my mom's things. (It's a slow process because we plan to keep her house.) I hope these words come to me as I am doing it: talisman or horcrux?
That would be harder for sure. We took what we wanted, and now the estate sale people will handle the rest. Bring plenty of chocolate and heart-shaped cakes. ❤️
Love this. My dad died over a year ago, leaving all his stuff to the whims of a second wife who didn't communicate much with me and my brother. A few months ago, the second wife gave a box of Dad's stuff to her son to give to my brother (long story there, not worth it). (Also, Norwegian death cleaning style...one box). OMG what's in it, I texted my brother (we live 300-some miles apart). Nothing, he texted back, blurry photos and some books you bought dad once and that mix CD you made him one year but the CD is missing. Oy.
Whoa. That’s the other extreme. We do want SOME of the things.
"We're reviewing our mortality." THIS PART. Exquisite work, Kelly. Thanks for posting it; it's comforting as I continue to work through the house I grew up in, and have now lived in again, as a middle-aged adult, for more than a decade. We're still trying to decide how to contend with the belongings of both our parents and all four grandparents plus much of the childhood miscellany our Mom kept for each of us. Making even decisions about the disposition of thousands of items in your own home while you live in it means you're constantly also processing the wider context of everything. It can be almost paralyzing while engendering a looming sense of doom on a continual loop.
If it helps, I can pass on the first step for having an estate sale: "Get rid of anything anyone wants first." We all went, took what we wanted, and it was done (and we refused to fight over a single item. The real estate agent said he'd seen meltdowns over an old bedsheet!) We had hard deadlines, tho. I imagine it would be soooo much harder if you stay in the house.
I've been sporadically practicing Norwegian death cleaning for a few years, since I was diagnosed with cancer a decade ago and my neighbor alerted me to it. It's like Swedish death cleaning, but less useful. Basically, it's on you to reduce your meaningful personal heirlooms to a manageable-sized box before you die, so anyone who gets there after your death can say, "I guess this is what I'm supposed to keep forever" and then decide whether or not to chuck it in the dumpster with all the other stuff. (You're also supposed to sort all your non-meaningful shit and get rid of as much as possible so the dumpster is unnecessary.) Recently, a friend of mine said, "Guess who's book I found in the little library on my street?" Is that better or worse than a viking funeral? And is this person really a friend to tell me? Good luck!
The box could double as a bugout bag in case we need to evacuate! Maybe I’ll pioneer Danish death cleaning. Although I’m not sure what that would be? Anyway. No dumpsters required at my house or Dad’s. I had an ex that after I kicked him out it took two dumpsters. TWO.
Whew, this one hits, especially since I'll be heading to MI in a few weeks and will need to go through some of my mom's things. (It's a slow process because we plan to keep her house.) I hope these words come to me as I am doing it: talisman or horcrux?
That would be harder for sure. We took what we wanted, and now the estate sale people will handle the rest. Bring plenty of chocolate and heart-shaped cakes. ❤️