The Dog of Albania

The Dog is every dog, everywhere, all at once

I was watching a film made in Bunkart 1, a former communist bunker turned into a museum when I saw him onscreen— The Dog of Albania. Chilling.

Other people can discuss dog rescue, Albanian dog breeds, dog fighting, soulless dog ladies, or all the other dog-related topics that exist out there about dogs and Albanian dogs. I’m here to talk about the ONE SINGLE DOG, The Dog of Albania, who is everywhere — and who we now know, as verified from this 100% authenticated photo of a video which in no way is another photo to which I applied the Noir filter to because I could not find the original photo of the video after an hour of searching because The Dog’s secret police must have deleted said photo from my cloud — can time travel.

The Dog of Albania is on every street corner. Befriending fruit vendors. On the sidewalks of Shkoder. Along the rrugas, anywhere he can find a peaceful resting spot. Wherever you go in Albania, you will see this dog.

American dogs could learn from The Dog of Albania, who doesn’t bark or sniff your crotch, growl or bite. The Dog of Albania would never jump up and slobber all over you. The eyebrows might lift in brief recognition. But that is all.

TDOA is James Dean, Joe Cool, the Snoop Dogg of dogs.

TDOA spans multiverses — every dog, everywhere, all at once — I accept this truth without question. The real mystery: why is TDOA so chill?

Because it’s too hot? Well, in my experience the dogs of Alabama and Louisiana still bark, bite, and lunge from their leashes even when temperatures are melting iron skillets

Because TDOA is free to jump multiverses? This reasoning feels more plausible. While I understand leash laws are good and why we should have them, this chill dog chills in chill defiance of leash laws. Give me a chance, TDOA says, and I’ll leave you alone.

Or maybe all the multiverse jumping has exhausted TDOA. Or TDOA isn’t telling because I’m not worthy. TDOA is like the guests on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s podcast, wiser than me.

The Dog's Minions. Seriously though, why can't American dogs be more like this?

While I couldn’t find the actual picture of TDOA, at least his secret police were unable to delete this footage of his younger, foolish sibling photobombing Communist marchers (video below). Props to this dog making a mockery of the pomp. Whee! A parade!